One twin rousing the others,
I steal him away or her away or both away,
Let the toddler rest
I steal them away as stealthily as a hobbit robbing a dragon’s lair.
Before I have even managed to peel my eyes open from their broken sleep, before I have shaken the dream from my thoughts, before I know what day it is, what time it is, what the heck is really going on.
Shhhhhhh don’t wake the other twin,
or g o d f o r b i d t h e t o d d l e r .
Sometimes, when luck would have it, I am blessed with quiet cuddles, awoken gently by one, two, three of my little bubs, allowed to bask in dreamy scrumptiousness with them, as I leave my sleep behind and am eased so lovingly into our twin filled – toddler drenched day.
My tired , creaking, rattly bones, a body pushed to its limits from growing three children, from growing and birthing and raising three children. A body that broke new ground, pushed its own boundaries by growing twins, by birthing twins, by raising twins.
I barely catch my breath and it’s feeding time, its shushing to sleep time, its waking time, its playing time, cuddle time, loving time, resting time, growing time, teaching time, cleaning time, bath time, cooking time – fruit cleaning – veg pealing – prep time, its housework, laundry, shopping, gardening, dressing, speaking, singing, dancing, gentle time, soft time, slow time…
Looking in their eyes time, seeing their soul time, feeling their heart beat time, caressing their bodies time, time to touch: to soothe away the aches of growing, of falling, of banging, of scraping, of bumping, of constantly doing.
Its time to catch ourselves in the doing and remember the Being… being, to Be, making time to Be.
I wrap us in arms of pure unconditional, will ALWAYS be there for you LOVE.
I make sure to notice their breath on me,
The hummingbird beat of their little hearts against me, to look deep, unabashedly into their eyes.
Eyes I once grew and gave life to, but eyes that show me the flowing soul of new beings I could never have imagined I could love so deeply, eyes so full of wonder and love, and curiosity.
Eyes so full of potential, eyes that glimmer with a idea of who that baby, that child will become.
I be sure to really see who I am so lucky to have grown and love. I pause and I really feel the moment, embrace the beauty.
it’s feeding time, its shushing to sleep time, its waking time, its playing time, cuddle time, loving time, resting time, growing time, teaching time, cleaning time, housework, laundry, cooking time – fruit cleaning – veg pealing- prep time, its clearing up time, dressing, undressing, speaking, singing, dancing time, gentle time, soft time, slow time. Catch your breath time, put the hoover down time, see where you are time, see your children time, feeding time.
Its time to sit and nourish your children time, hold them closely, give them your milk, time to look, to feel, no time to nod off-to sleep time, its time to stretch out your aching limbs, to adjust your posture time, to think of all of the things you never found the time for time, its time to look at the clock.
Its time to change the revving up, the gearing up for all of the day time, to start to wind things down. Its time to close the curtains, to soften the atmosphere, slow things down time.
It’s neverending: mammy’s busy time, its just a shift in gears, change of direction, but it’s all still “doing” time.
It’s the hardest, most rewarding, most inspiring, thought provoking, soul awakening, love filled, time to get your Mrs Responsibility hat on time.
But it is worth every wrinkle, every grey hair, every muscle ache, every creak of the bones, every bitten nipple, every leak of milk, every cold cup of coffee, every interrupted bath, every watched toilet trip, every stood-on-buildingblock-ounce of-pain, every missed hour of sleep, every stretch mark, every stitch, every tear, every exhausted breath, every sacrifice, every act of giving to them instead of to yourself.
It’s worth it all, a million times over, because your centre of gravity has shifted; it dwells in the heart of every child you have birthed, and life, however many infinite possibilities there are of what could come to be, life would not be worth knowing with out your little bubs